Of What Was




Recorded and Produced by Jonathan Anderson.


released September 24, 2004



all rights reserved
Track Name: idee fixe
lions that escape to roam
your thoughts and dreams
they protect and destroy
all you believe
with little confidence
do I speak
but with great conviction
I do sing
Track Name: radio friendly
wise investors
choose their players
feed the healthy
breed the fittest

but I am dying
to the memory
of all I wanted
and could not have

so pick and choose
your enemies
for a little security

I am dying
to the memory
of all I wanted
and could not have
Track Name: shakeher
a couple nights later
another attempt
to salvage this lifeless romance
a dinner spent waiting for the bill to arrive
while she plans her bitter revenge

she’s up on the table
ripped open her dress
”is this all you wanted from me?
admit it you coward how ugly I am
when there is no hunger to feed.”

we all know
that beauty is never found
where we’re looking

in the fire
brings purity
I will go and burn
beyond all recognition
so I can be ready
only to be destroyed
Track Name: a cause for concern
walking through unwinding paths
that lead me to no end
how I have searched endlessly
for something to believe

a picture that captures time
a moment we can realize
that there is more for us to see
but out of focus it always seems

don’t wait for the lines to change
don’t wait for a sign
you let all these years pass by
it’s time that you let go

it’s not too late

you had too many days
to wait upon these lines
you had to wait for time to pass
you waited all these years
it’s time for you to leave this place
it’s time to run away

don’t wait for this to settle in
it’s time that you found out
Track Name: you know you don't know
if you don’t want to
the circumstance will bare
the naked and the lost

if you could hold on
the road might lead us
to a place we all must see

if I could show you
all the things I wish i knew
you would understand

if I could let go
of all the things I don’t know
it would make some sense

I want to see through
I see light shine through
speak to me in silence
take my hand come through

so won’t you take me
and help me let go
of all these tired times

so won’t you show me
and help me to find beauty in this life
Track Name: best kept secret
I took her coat I made her feel at home
a glass of wine can make one spill their words
she told me how she thought this life was war
went home at night and said goodbye to the world

you say she looks fine
but what do you really know?
the anger the sadness
it never really shows

an empty bottle of pills on the floor
look for the farewell letter in her drawer
she wrote of why it had to be this way
could I have done something to make her stay?

you say she looks fine
but what do you really know?
the anger the sadness
it never really shows

she lived life searching
for something to believe
I stood there believing
that someone could be me

your best kept secret is peace
give it up
give it away
Track Name: assembly lines
feel how the greater being comes
"In rejoicings die..."
melt in the music of the drums
"I am you and I..."

I’ve wasted half my life
living up to this lie
I won’t understand
and I won’t believe

unless you save me

dying makes no sense
all alone - insignificance
living makes no sense
all alone it’s all so meaningless

assembly lines
to create the productive
the efficient mass
it is always moving
lines of assembly
call for me
to conform
and to fall idle
it is always beating
Track Name: annadonia
as the sun sets
we will make our silent escape
we will take nothing with us
we will not leave a thing behind

no more lies will you tell her
no more cries from her bed
all the anguish you bred here
you will have to live with

and we long for redemption
as we search for a promise
draw me out of the water
we must make our escape

take me to my home
run with me now
Track Name: of what was
listen now
as I fall careless
gently slipping
mind unfolding

without memory
of how I got here
a silhouette
of where I should have gone

make me understand
all these wounds
that need some healing
I want to believe
In these words
that release me

waiting for this dance
to end soon
spinning bending
i am always static

drowning movements
that end at the start
leaving me
with scars

I can’t see
I can never see
I can’t feel
I can never feel
I want to see
I want to feel
I want to know
You are there
Help me see
Help me feel

I want to know You are real
Track Name: silence calls
and wait
for me to speak
promise I’ll keep
and take
this light from me
so you can see

as my star fades
I swear I had waited
for you to speak
but all I hear
is your silence call

and make me understand
these idle hands
and speak
so that I hear
so that it’s clear

and sing
please sing to me

and dance
please dance for me
so gracefully